Edible Grade School

I'd like to preface this by saying that we only have 3 years of schooling because of our short lifespan. Yet, a lot can happen in three years. One kid went from an innocent little gingerkid to a full-fledged owner of a ginger cartel where he dealt ginger drugs (yikes!). Others went on to become the Albert Gingerstein's, and Martin Ginger King Jr's of our society. Nonetheless, here's my experience of the three years that apparently make or break your life. 

                                                 First Year
I was a very awkward gingerchild. My accessories were not fully applied yet, so I ended up with contrasting gumdrop buttons and uneven frosting eyebrows. I was a frosting criminal. Of course kids are naturally awkward their first year, but I was one of the worst. Many spicy gingerkids considered me "Ginger ready to snap." I was teased, crumbled, and soggy because kids spilled milk on me (I know they say don't cry over spilled milk, but I did because it was spilled on me!). 


                                                                    Second Year
Nothing really happened second year. Humans almost ate my lab partner, but that's a commonality in our society. They put all of the awkward teachers in second year classes. Mine smelled like nutmeg instead of ginger; it was the worst year of my life. 

                                                Third Year
Everything turned around third year. I finally had a teacher that smelled right, all my frosting applications were applied, and my parents were proud of me, something that almost never happens! I made it. Who knew that the least of my problems were behind me?! Although after a cookie lair in Lord Farquaad's castle and an ogre-infested swamp, I am very grateful for my small ginger-school that made me a stronger, tougher, crunchier, pastry! 

Gingerly, 
Gingy 

Mature-free Americans

Gingerbread men are often unavailable to interact with people who have food allergies. It is very hard to incorporate different ingredients to fit the abstract needs of allergies. Nonetheless, there are some sugar-free, and low-fat gingerbread out there. I've even met a dairy free gingerbread man; it was incredible to hear his story (He was on Ellen DeGingerous last week). But with the advent of healthy food, gingerbread minorities have become more prevalent. What a lot of Americans fail to realize is the fact that calories aren't the only thing that matters in a food. The fat content could increase cholesterol, the amount of sugar often affects behavior after the meal too. This political cartoon is bringing attention to the fact that most humans only judge a food's nutritional value on the calorie count. Often if humans are going to splurge on junk food, they do not care about the sugar content; when, in actuality, sugar can make more break the after-dessert attitude. For example, I contain a high sugar content, so after people eat my peers they tend to have a brief sugar high and then crash. Another purpose of this cartoon is to expose the growing population of obese humans. Many Americans fail to see the depth in nutrition facts. But if they want to be as healthy as gingerbread men, they should stop taking only calories into account, and focus on the realm of nutritional needs.

Gingerly,
Gingy

The Gingerbread Graveyard

Becoming more and more common to gingerbread societies worldwide is the gingerbread graveyard. The gingerbread graveyards are sets of individually wrapped gingerbread men like the one pictured below. 

Yes, it is pleasing to the human eye, and easy for human parties, but think about the waste. Each of us must be individually wrapped in cellophane bags instead of all piled on one plate. Each of us need our own ribbon bow instead of a plain plastic covering. And sure it looks like we're smiling, but deep down we're heartbroken. Our first and last hours are spent away from our family because we have no access to them. Even when we managed to wiggle around to other family members in our cellophane cage, we cannot really touch each other because of the wrapping. The worst part of the cage is the breathing. Yes, gingerbread men do breathe people! The amount of air is very limited, and if we are in the cage for more than an hour, some men and women start seeing things. It is a horrible conundrum that is not necessary to either society. Think about the harmful waste you are doing to our world, the gingerbread people are not the only ones who suffer! Humans will suffer from this in the longer term! So, stop creating a cellophane jungle, and start appreciating the luscious jungles that actually better our society. 

Gingerly,
Gingy

The Gingerbread in the World Trade Center

It shows a sad frosting face on a helpless porcelain plate. The Lone Ranger of our society experienced the madness. Nutmeg was his name. He was in the World Trade Center on 9/11. The footage still plays in ginger living rooms every year; regular screenings are done for adults. The fire burns the TV like it was yesterday. Nutmeg was the Jeanette Walls of our society; he grew up in a rough neighborhood, but turned his life around by moving away and writing a memoir. Growing up in casinos, Nutmeg never had a normal childhood. That was the magical part about him; he was never known for profiling gingerbread people. He saw uniqueness in all of us. Some were devastated by Nutmeg's loss, while others might say that it was his time, being four-years-old and all. However, his memory will live on, not only in the videotape that plays yearly to remind us of the horrors, but in our hearts, where his kindness will be replayed forever. That's the thing I think humans have trouble understanding, that there is always more to the story behind the screen. 

Gingerly, 
Gingy